Christmastime is here

...and my apartment is DECKED OUT. I have a lot of decorations, none of which I purchased for myself. Such is the benefit of having a holiday-obsessed mother who has sent me about three boxes worth of Christmas stuff, ranging from semi-creepy Dickensian carolers...


to vintage bottle-brush trees:



As for my tree this year, well, there's really only one way to describe it: FIERCE.


I mean, it's fucking beautiful, right? It fits perfectly between my desk and shoe rack. I bought and decorated it on Sunday, while sipping Trader Joe's chocolate-flavored eggnog. Then I watched Holiday Inn and cried at the end, like I always do.

I own three Christmas movies: Holiday Inn, White Christmas, and a very special film that I have never seen, but plan to watch this year. Christmas Evil.


It's about a serial killer who dresses up like Santa and wants to "give everyone the presents they deserve...even if that means giving the gift of MURDER!"

Very excited to watch this. I mean, I love Halloween and I love Christmas. Clearly I will love this film. Maybe even as much as I love this:



As one YouTube commenter noted, "Gotta love the Muppets for recognizing that this song is about attempted rape."

Merry Happy!

Happy holidays, everybody! It's Christmas Eve, my mother's favorite day of the year (because Christmas is ALMOST here but not quite...Christmas Day she describes as "bittersweet." And the day after Christmas? Don't even go there.)

I'm in Colorado, with my Christmas-obsessed mom and stepdad. It's snowing and we are listening to festive music (my mom is particularly fond of the holiday albums put out by Josh Groban, Jane Monheit, and Diana Krall) while prepping the stuffing for tomorrow's traditional goose dinner. Yes, we always make a Dickensian feast on Christmas Eve: goose + stuffing + mashed potatoes + green beans + cranberry relish. My mom and I spend most of the day cooking and sipping wine, while our favorite movie, Gone with the Wind, plays in the background. Yes, I know, GWTW is not technically a Christmas movie, but there is a Christmas scene, ok? (when Ashley comes home for Christmas and impregnates Melanie)

Christmas Day also has several key meals: cinnamon rolls and coffee before gift-opening, mimosas, bagels with cream cheese and lox afterward, prime rib (encrusted in salt, pepper, rosemary, and garlic) for dinner. While the prime rib is in the oven, we watch It's a Wonderful Life. Every family has holiday rituals -- my family's just happen to center around food, wine, and movies. I'm not complaining, but if you see me in early January and I look a little more rotund than usual, you will know why.

If you celebrate Christmas, merry Christmas...otherwise, happy holidays and best wishes for 2010!

my mom's cat, Sparky, modeling his Christmas collar and enjoying his favorite game, Cat in a Box

Problematic Depictions of African-Americans in a Beloved Holiday Film

The other night, I watched a classic Christmas movie: Holiday Inn, starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. Though I've seen it a dozen times, this always catches me off-guard:

Yep, that's crooner Bing Crosby, in full-on blackface. He's singing an Irving Berlin song called "Abraham" about Abe Lincoln's birthday that contains lyrics such as "When black folks lived in slavery/ Who was it set the darkie free?/ Abraham, Abraham!"

PROBLEMATIC. And the only actual black people in the movie?

That's Louise Beavers, playing (isn't it obvious?) "Mamie" and her two kids. Mamie is the all-purpose housekeeper/cook at the Holiday Inn. Obviously.

Sigh. I love Holiday Inn -- it features the first ever performance of "White Christmas," one of my favorite Christmas songs. There are lots of great dance numbers, not one but TWO love triangles, and plenty of glamorous 1940s evening wear.

And yet....

It's just hard to get past this, you know? The blackface is a part of the plot -- Bing Crosby adds it to the number at the last minute so that Fred Astaire's character won't be able to recognize Marjorie Reynolds (pictured above), with whom he drunkenly danced on New Year's Eve and wants to steal away from Crosby's Holiday Inn gig.

But still....yeesh. Racism kind of kills my Christmas spirit.

My Christmas List

Dear Santa,

Below please find a short list of things I'd like to receive this Christmas. I have been very good this year...well, excepting the fact that I stopped going to yoga two months ago. Staying in shape is expensive, Santa! Anyway, do your best. I realize some of these things may be more easy to acquire than others.

1. A Zeo Personal Sleep Coach

2. My student loans erased

3. Wine

4. Clive Owen


5. 18.5-inch waist, just like Scarlett O'Hara

6. A maid/personal assistant

7. These Alexander McQueen heels:
8. My ill-conceived bangs to be grown out

9. Sarah Palin's nonexistence

10. Dish towels (my August subletter stole mine for reasons unknown)

Love,
Katie

Quick shots of Christmas 2008

Just wanted to share some shots of Christmas 2008 with you:

Gathering #1: With our friends at our place







Gathering #2: 12 hours' drive away at my in laws













Gathering #3: At husband's aunt's place







Gathering #4: At my sister in law's place

Caroling, caroling

I am a big fan of Christmas music. On my iPod, I have a playlist with 70+ holiday songs on it, from artists as diverse as Judy Garland and Bing Crosby to Mariah Carey and the Muppets. And it occurs to me that pretty much all Christmas songs fit into one of three cateogories: dirty, depressing, and stupid/juvenile.

Dirty Christmas carols, you ask? Whatever do you mean? My stepdad is responsible for pointing this first example out to me. Take a gander at the lyrics to "Santa Claus Got Stuck in my Chimney," which was originally recorded by Ella Fitzgerald in 1960:

Santa Claus got stuck in my chimney
Stuck in my chimney, stuck in my chimney
Santa Claus got stuck in my chimney
When he came last year.

There he was in the middle of my chimney
Roly-poly, fat and round
There he was in the middle of my chimney
Not quite up and not quite down

Santa please come back to my chimney
Back to my chimney, back to my chimney
Santa please come back to my chimney
You can come back here.

Wow, right? The song takes the vagina-as-chimney metaphor really far.

I also think the allegedly innocent "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is open to myriad interpretations. I know that we're supposed to assume that what the kid sees (and misunderstands) is his dad dressed up as Santa and his mom kissing his dad. But I always think about the other possibility-- that dad is upstairs asleep while mom is playing tonsil hockey with the 19-year-old mall Santa. Or I imagine another verse -- where after Mommy kisses and tickles Santa, things progress to less PG-13-rated events. "Then I saw Mommy fellating Santa Claus..."

"Santa Baby," about a greedy woman who wants the deed to a diamond mine and a new car among other things, also has a naughty feel to it...though I think the song would be awesome
if sampled in a remix of Kanye West's "Gold-Digger." You know, to give it more contemporary
relevance.

The second category, the Depressing Songs, is where all my favorites are. I like my pop culture super sad, as is evidenced by my love of Richard Yates and Patsy Cline. Songs like "I'll Be Home for Christmas" and "White Christmas" play up the more emotionally confusing part of Christmas-- the moments where, after too much spiked eggnog, you start thinking about Christmases past and get nostalgic about ex-lovers and dead relatives.

The mother of all depressing Christmas songs is of course the oft-covered "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." The history of the song, which was written for the film Meet Me in St. Louis, is quite fascinating and even has its own Wikipedia page. Now the lyrics seem tame, but the original lyrics? Wrist-slitting material. Check it out:

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
It may be your last
Next year we may all be living in the past

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Pop that champagne cork
Next year we may all be living in New York

No good times like the olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were dear to us
Will be near to us no more

But at least we all will be together
If the Lord allows
From now on, we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now

See what I mean? Now we sing about hanging stars on shiny boughs and all that bullshit. When really, the song is about "muddling through" life. Pass the schnapps!

Finally, the stupid/juvenile carols. I HATE THESE. Examples include "Grandma Got Run Over by
a Reindeer" and "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth." These songs really should
just disappear from holiday anthologies.

Now, all of the above examples are fairly old songs -- but contemporary recording artists are
attempting to add to the Christmas canon. A few years ago, Newsong came out with what might be the worst Christmas song of all time: The Christmas Shoes.

I mean, it's so awesomely bad that it's almost good. Almost.

This holiday season, I saw that Aretha Franklin had put out her first album of Christmas songs, so I decided to buy it for my mom. We listened to it in the car after she picked me up from the airport. And were immediately flabbergasted. The album panders to the most stereotypical images of a down-home Southern Christmas. In between songs, Aretha talks about chittlins. Seriously. I'm not even black and I'm offended.

The final track is Aretha reading a special adaptation of "Twas the Night Before Christmas." Her version makes references to her "bro" and her "diddy" (which prompted my mother to ask, "What's a 'diddy'?") and instead of waiting up for Ol' St. Nick, Aretha is waiting for her new man to arrive. When he does show up, she runs him out of the house for not bringing adequate gifts. As he exits, instead of shouting "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night," he yells, "You'se one hell of a woman, 'Retha!"

Download it if you don't believe me.

Happy holidays, everyone -- I encourage you to sing till you're blue (red? green?) in the face
and try to follow to paradoxical advice offered in "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," namely to dance merrily in "the new old-fashioned way." Good luck with that.

Christmas at bijou kaleidoscope

Thought I'd show you a few snippets around the home with its modest Christmas decor.

Christmas Tree

Okay this is going to sound quite pitiful... but stay with me...

Since young, we have celebrated Christmas every year. Church, presents, food, caroling... the whole thing.

But this will be the first year I will enjoy a real Christmas tree at my home!! It's lovely having the smell of pine in the living room. It's even lovely vacuuming up the pine needles on the carpet.

I thought of decorating the tree very simply... while it looks great, I sometimes shy away from too busy Christmas trees. Gets a bit overwhelming. I thought of just white ornaments. Can you believe, I get to start collecting Christmas tree ornaments??!!!



Yeah... we got a tree with a crooked top.

I'll need to get an ornaments organiser... how do you organise/store your delicate ornaments?

Christmas Cards

I was inspired to make a move on finally realising one of the things that I've always wanted to do... a spot of luxury cards and stamping. So I thought I'd do it this Christmas. I normally make my own tags/cards but this time, wanted something more elegant and luxurious. I love Crane & Co papers and found some for a good price... and got all stampy-like.



Presents

Zero-budgets for wrapping the few family Christmas gifts we have has made me look around my home for wrapping supplies.
Inspired by an image that has been stash away at the back of my mind:



And I've just found that Martha Stewart has a Christmas version from Dec 2004 issue:

Via Martha Stewart

I grabbed me some of my oh-so-luxe plain brown packaging paper and some oh-so-even-luxe dollar paper doilies (we don't seem to have the array of doilies you guys seem to get in the USA!):



Not as swish as some other pretty packaging but to spend $0 on packaging, I think I did pretty well!