I couldn't care less about....

In college, my friends and I used to play a game where we would take turns stating issues/events/people that we couldn't care less about. The more controversial (i.e. "global warming," "who killed JonBenet"), the better. Behold my current list of things that people around me seem to give a shit about, much to my disbelief.

1. March Madness

Is it over yet? I'm so tired of hearing about brackets and seeds and how [insert college] got robbed. For some reason, the NCAA championship irks me more any other major sports tournament. I like watching the Superbowl and I always sort of follow the World Series. I didn't go to a school where basketball was at all important, so maybe that's the issue? I don't know.


2. Who wins this season of American Idol

I usually watch AI, but this season I can't seem to muster up the energy. Recent winners have been lackluster (Jordin Sparks? Seriously?) and I just can't pretend anymore that these people deserve fame and record deals. Even Paula's insanity has lost its charm. I wish we could just fast-forward to May and So You Think You Can Dance!

3. How wasted you were last night

So, BU kids on the B line? SHUT THE FUCK UP.

4. Failing banks

Clearly I should care about this. But I just keep thinking about the awesome scene in It's a Wonderful Life when there's a run on the bank and everyone wants their money back from Bailey Building & Loan. Check it out:




Maybe if Citibank fails, Obama would make us all sandwiches or something. I don't keep much money in the bank, so I'm not too concerned. Now, if there was a possibility that the shoebox under my bed might fail, then I'd be worried.

(Note to would-be burglars: I do not actually keep money in a shoebox under my bed.)

5. The fictional Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Aniston feud

Obviously, there is no feud. But if there were....Team Aniston all the way!