North Shore Agency: BUSTED

In my last post, I transcribed the e-mail Funkin' A! received from douchenozzle extraordinaire Kyle Fitzpatrick. Now I'd like to share another odd piece of correspondence I received a few weeks ago in the mail, from North Shore Agency, a collection agency with a Columbus, OH address.

Dear Katie Vagnino,

Be realistic.

You don't get something for nothing.

The magazines you ordered from our client, TIME OUT NEW YORK, have a value. Otherwise, you wouldn't have placed an order for that subscription.

That value is in the amount of $19.97.

We expect full payment for that subscription. The value of sending payment on your part is to protect your account with our client.

That account has a value, too.

Make a check payable to North Shore Agency and mail it in the envelope provided.

You don't get something for nothing.

It's not the way it works and you know that.

***************************************************

I find this letter completely hilarious in its tone. I mean, talk about childish shaming tactics! I also, upon checking online and calling Time Out, determined that my account is not actually in collection and my subscription is paid up through June 2011. BOGUS.

A quick Google search of "North Shore Agency scam" yielded a ton of hits, information about class action lawsuits and warnings on consumer scam sites about how NSA obtains/steals old subscription data and sends phony letters. Sadly, most people pay because the amount requested is low and they don't want to jeopardize their credit. Hell, I almost just paid it and figured I'd forgotten to renew my subscription on time. However, North Shore Agency can't even report to credit agencies. This is something freely admit when you call them, like I did.

Getting a human on the phone was not easy. The number listed on the letter I got just connected me to an automated system that wanted my credit card information. I tried pressing zero, I tried pressing nothing and staying on the line and I just got disconnected eventually. Finally, I located an alternate number, provided by another pissed NSA letter-recipient. I called and spoke to a very hostile woman who admitted that they are being sued by a bunch of people ("well, all companies get sued") and insisted that Time Out New York had given them my information, even after I told her I had just gotten off the phone with them and their records show that my account is paid.

At any rate, I probably should report these clowns to someone. In the meantime, if you get a letter from North Shore Agency, don't send them any money.