Hup Holland!

I've now been back from Europe for a week and I'm experiencing the classic post-vacation slump. After looking forward to the trip for months, I miss....looking forward to it. But the good news is, it was everything I hoped it would be and I have amazing pictures/memories, some of which I will now share on this blog. Below are the highlights and insights from my week-long trip to the Netherlands and Belgium, in Top Ten list form!

1. Dutch sounds and looks like a made-up Muppet language.

It's very easy to read Dutch, because it looks like a hybrid of German and English. Some of my favorite words:

winkel = store
eethuis = restaurant ("eat house")
slagroom = whipped cream
graag = please
wijn = wine

Spoken Dutch sounds similar to German, but with more enthusiasm and inflection. German is kind of like Dutch, minus the joy.

2. Witnessing two World Cup victories (quarter- and semi-final) almost made a sports fan out of me. I mean, this is infectious:




3. Dutch is not one of the world's great cuisines. Though I did enjoy stamppot, a traditional dish consisting of mashed potatoes, endives, bacon, and sausage. And in Belgium, things improved culinarily:


Yes, that's a gigantic pot of mussels. The frites weren't bad, either, though I still prefer them with ketchup as opposed to mayo.

4. Sexual Chocolate (Coming to America):


vs. sexual chocolate (Bruges):


5. European train stations are about 3,000 times cooler than American train stations. Case in point: Antwerp.



6. You are not supposed to take pictures in the Red Light District, so sadly, I don't have any. I will, however, share this tidbit about prostitution from one of my guidebooks:

"If you visit one of the women, we would like to remind you, they are not always women. Do not take pictures of the women. Out on the streets, do not shout or use bad language towards these women. Show some respect. If you have any problems with a girl or a pimp, do not hesitate to ask a police officer. We know why you are there and you can hardly surprise us."

Another guidebook gem, re: urinating in public: "A dirty habit, and always committed by men."

7. Hash + Van Gogh Museum = stellar combination.

8. The oldest gay bar in Amsterdam, Cafe 't Mandje, was opened by a lesbian named Bet van Beeren:


9. You can buy actual wooden shoes in the Netherlands

10. Everything is prettier when you're on vacation

Plywood walls ala chic!

Taken when we moved in Feb 2010

I have talked about how much I hate our current plywood walls with their dark reddy-brown stained trim and frame. In such a small space (484sq ft), all that dark trim really does not add light to the space. Large windows were sacrificed for valuable wall space (and available funds at the time of building).

My gorgeous kitchen shelves against plywood walls

But House of Turquoise really brought home to me how a little white, a little light paint can really add light and bright to the same plywood wall treatment in a house.







Now I REALLY want to paint the trim and ceiling white. Now I need money to buy paint and manpower!!!

Images from Country Home

Creative ART

Desain membut patung dari Steyrofoam By Creative Art

Heaven and Hell

After a month-long unannounced hiatus and severe site-traffic atrophy, the Vagnino Monologues is back!


I have an epic post planned about my week-long trip to the Low Countries (Holland and Belgium), but first, a little theosophical musing. About death and what happens after it. Because while it's fun to blog about pet owls and bikini waxes, sometimes I feel the urge to think about things of substance, things with gravitas.

Before embarking to Europe, I wrote a lengthy paper about Don DeLillo's postmodern masterpiece White Noise. All of the characters in the novel are obsessed with death -- one character even takes a risky experimental drug that is designed to alleviate the fear of death. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it -- aside from its philosophical headiness, it's very funny and a fast read.

So yeah, death. Truthfully? I think I think about it less than most folks. Of course I wonder what it will be like and am as shocked as anyone when someone unexpectedly dies and is just....not around anymore. I am more afraid of scenarios in which I know that I am going to die right before it happens. Not like with a terminal illness, but like in a plane crash or car accident or with a gun pointed at your head, where you are conscious and alert, but have to try to rationally process/reconcile your impending non-existence. That is terrifying.

Of course, I hope there is an afterlife. I like to think that heaven is a chic cocktail party with an open bar, great live music and neverending passed appetizers.

Or heaven might look like this:

(This was my favorite shoe store in Amsterdam. I almost wept when I walked in.)

Or if heaven isn't a shoe store or a fabulous cocktail party filled with friends and handsome strangers, I think it should be some sort of virtual reality-type situation where you get to relive all your favorite life moments. That would be pretty neat.

I'm a firm believer that hell involves travel gone awry. Some possibilities:

1) Hell is an airport (and not one with good duty-free shops and a Wolfgang Puck restaurant). Your flight never arrives and also you cannot leave. Your bags are lost. There is nothing to read except Women's Health and Golf Digest. The drinking fountains are all broken and bottled water costs $3.25. You are forced to eat stale slices of sbarro and watch Today Show reruns with the sound turned off.

2) Hell is the Amtrak Waiting Area at Penn Station. The A/C is broken. The smell of urine is omnipresent. Your train is continually delayed. Bathroom is out of order and covered in yellow crime scene tape.

3) Hell is the Port Authority Bus Terminal. Fill in your own horrifying specifics.

Or maybe Sartre had it right, that hell is other people. But not all other people -- just the most annoying, obnoxious contestants/personalities from reality television. How would you like to spend eternity making conversation with the cast of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila?


I rest my case. (Also, does Tila Tequila look like a Bratz doll in that photo, or what?)

I guess the ultimate irony would be if heaven and hell are precisely the cliched stereotypes we associate with them -- angels and harps vs. fire and demons. So when you arrive, you're like, "Seriously? For reals? Ugh. I'd rather be in Port Authority with a man who sleeps next to a bag of his own trash. At least that's ORIGINAL."

Vintage, pink, romantic, floral

How gorgeous a setting for celebration... perfect garden views for an intimate wedding or family event.

Vintage, pink, romantic, floral

All the keywords that make for a beautiful photo... or wedding!



Anne Sage, of the popular blog The City Sage, sets photographs for beautiful magazine Nonpareil and recently did a beautiful shoot, Jane Austen style:

I have a soft spot for stone garden tables... esp laden with sweet goodies and candy coloured drinks.

I love the table setting! Am so inspired by the beautiful matching.

Anne Sage also cites all her sources and inspiration.
Images from The City Sage

Very black, very romantic, very birdy

I just love looking at this picture. Could see (and love) it as a print on my walls.

Candy dining table

I love this gorgeous simple dining room... accompanied with these candy coloured chairs.

Styled by Stephen Shubel Design, in San Fransisco.