I bet I know more about feline diabetes than you do

Maude's diagnosis has put her in some very distinguished company.

A recent vet visit revealed that Maude's long streak of perfect health is finally over. She is diabetic and I must now give her twice-daily injections of insulin and feed her special food. It is certainly the beginning of a new chapter in our lives together.

But I'm coping -- and doing lots of internet research. Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine has a very helpful video series featuring some adorable cat actors. And this website has some very dramatic rhetoric: "Your Emotions Will Be Raw" cautions one section; another warns that:

Gone are the days of putting out food and water, giving a quick pat on the head, and hurrying out the door ... Friends, relatives, and co-workers may make insensitive comments that you are crazy to care for a chronically ill pet. Although it is difficult, try to ignore the unsupportive people - they do not understand the special bond of love that you share with your pet. Their inability to have compassion for an animal means that they will never experience the pure and unconditional love that can be shared between a human and a companion animal.

Damn!

I'm going to be the best caregiver that I can and take it one day at a time. Apparently, feline diabetes can go into remission and not all cats need insulin for their entire lives. Honestly, though, the syringe is tiny and Maude doesn't seem to mind so far. And if anything, she likes her new food more than the stuff I was feeding her. So we're adjusting. Our emotions are a little raw but we'll pull through. Feline "diabeetus": it's not a death sentence.

What did we do before YouTube?

Sometimes I use this blog to reflect on the great issues of the day, the unique challenges of being human in this complex modern era. And sometimes I use it to post silly videos featuring cats.

The truth about cats and dogs and me

I'm just going to come out and say it: I am not a huge fan of dogs.

I know, I KNOW. Go ahead -- gasp, guffaw, look thoroughly disgusted. It's because of these reactions that I've had to qualify this statement somewhat and follow it up with "I mean, I don't hate dogs or anything. They're ok."

Which is close to the truth. The real truth is that very few dogs have made their way into my esteem. Did I grow up around dogs? To some extent -- on my 12th birthday, our dog Frisco took it upon himself to eat/shred half of my new presents when we went out for a celebratory dinner. This possibly soured me to the species. The vast majority of dogs I've encountered barked too much, jumped up on me too much and just generally showed a lack of intelligence that I found to be distasteful. But saying you don't like dogs is like saying you're against cancer research or that maybe Hitler had the right idea. Not liking dogs is un-American, it's suspicious, it's downright unnatural.

Cats, on the other hand? I love cats. They don't bark. You don't have to take them out. They seem smarter than dogs, even if that's not true. They are selective with their affection, like me. But people love to hate on cats. "Cats are snobby," they say. "They don't love you like dogs do." Unconditional, unqualified love that I don't have to do anything to earn, however, is not something I look for in pets or people.

So I'm a cat lady. And proud of it. Don't get me wrong -- not all cats are awesome. As a kid, I had a high-strung cat named Thelma who loved to pee on my dad's dry cleaning. Thelma had some emotional problems -- she was even taking kitty antidepressants for a while. But her distress and subsequent urinary acting out, I think, was due to the fact that she had to hold her own against not one, not two, but THREE large dogs that joined our household when my dad remarried a dog lover. Can you blame her?

Cats currently (or recently) in my life:

Happy, my youngest brother's cat. For some time, Happy's sex was disputed. Now we are 99% sure he is male. Fortunately, the name is gender-neutral.

Maude. This pose makes it clear why one of her nicknames is "furry little whale."

This is Natasha, my ex-boyfriend's cat. She might be autistic, but she's sweet and I felt like giving her a shout-out.

Sparky, my mom's little-old-man cat. In his humiliating Christmas collar.

I've saved the weirdest for last:

My mom's other cat, Nicky. Who looks half-kangaroo, half-alien. This cat is WEIRD.

Anyway, that's probably enough feline love for one day.

Puerto Rico, you lovely island

This song was stuck in my head during my entire trip:



I have to disagree with Anita; I think I prefer San Juan to Manhattan in most respects. I hiked in the El Yunque rainforest, swam in a waterfall, went kayaking by moonlight, drank numerous cocktails garnished with umbrellas, ate mofongo at a street kiosk on the beach, listened to live music at La Placita, played exactly one hand of Blackjack in the hotel casino (and lost $5), and swam in jellyfish-infested waters, resulting in the red blisters described in my last post. I was not stung, but I have an allergy wherein if I swim in the vicinity of jellyfish, I break out in hives.

One of the trip's highlights was walking around historic Old San Juan, which is populated by tons of stray cats. Noah and I created a game called "Spot the Gato" to amuse ourselves while wandering the streets. Behold:

And my favorite, Maude's Puerto Rican doppelganger, Maudefongo (or TeleMaudo):


Sadly, we did not spot any chupacabras. Unless you count this:


So to sum it up, I would highly recommend PR as a vacation spot. The locals are incredibly nice, renting a car is comically cheap ($22.80 for an entire day), and there is a lot to see and do on the island and plenty of beautiful beaches to relax on, if that's more your style. And thanks to the economy being in the shitter, we got a great deal on Cheap Caribbean . Gracias, financial collapse!

Don't watch this if you already think cats are creepy

I can't really think of anything to post today, so I'll just share this extremely bizarre scene from a Swedish horror film called Let the Right One In.

I can has M.F.A. now pls?

I is good writer. Srsly.

Kthxbye

Cats are not from this planet

Exhibit A:

Besides looking like a pinhead or some rare breed of kangaroo, it's very unusual for cats to lie flat on their backs and completely expose their bellies to predators and/or bored humans.


Exhibit B (and please don't call the ASPCA):