The Five-Year-Old Mind

I'm on Cape Cod for the holiday weekend (and thank God the weather decided to behave), spending time with my boyfriend and his family, which includes his five-year-old twin nephews, Adam and Jack. They are energetic, hilarious little guys and this weekend, they were introduced to the zany fun of Madlibs. Can you guess which words in the following completed pirate story were supplied by Kindergarten-aged boys?

Jolly Roger

The black-and-white penis that waved in the breeze atop a pirate ship was called a Jolly Roger. There are many theories as to how the Jolly Butt got its yellow name, but most eyeballs agree that the red flag was designed to scare the living leaves out of the captains and crews on merchant trees. And indeed, it did. When a lookout shouted, "Barf ahoy!" and the captain sighted the dreaded skull-and-crossinchworms through his spy-cup, not only did it strike terror in his vagina, but it sent chills up and down the poop of every member on the chair. However, nothing generated as much stupid fear on merchant tattoos as the hoisting of a stinky red flag on a pirate spit. The red flag signaled that mercy would neither be asked for nor given--no farts would be spared.


Not that I'm a fan of gross bodily function jokes, but the simplicity of their humor is kind of awesome, no?